a warm puppy" :)
Mhmm, once again, today was a good day! I caught up with Nikki a bit! Oh how I've missed her<3 I can't wait until we finally get to hang out after all this time. I had lunch at 3 with Erica and Itzel. I love those two so much. Itzel leaves around 5:15ish to take her last final and Erica and I continue hanging out at Borders talking. I wish I got to see her more, not just the holidays. I come home at around 6. Andrew wanted to go see Zombieland, but I need to buy Christmas presents first, so I told him after Christmas, haha. He wants to stall some time before going home so he picks me up and takes me to see the Festival of Lights because he's in like shock that I have never gone, haha. And my goodness, it was beautiful! I need to go back more often and get pictures of it! So yea, we walk around and look at everything and run into Samantha Molina. Andrew drops me off at Matt's house and he was starting to cook because he was hungry, so I helped him. I washed and peeled potatoes, and he did the rest of the cooking, haha. He made steak, mash potatoes, and corn with carrots and asparagus, yum! We watched Titanic as we ate. I missed Titanic! I can't remember the last time I've seen it. His parents come home and say hi to his mom. I can't believe she remembers me, it's been awhile since I've been over with her there, haaa.
I know looking back like a few months from now and I'm going to be thinking, "wow, I was so pathetic and stupid and annoying," haaa. But for now, I'm loving winter break and going with the flow. I know after winter break it'll be like before I came home, nonexistent. I'm living life with no regrets and doing things for myself.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Winter Break
is starting off well. (: finding out my grades was not the best thing, but aside from all that, it's great. This break is just want I needed.
Saturday: I went to a family wedding. I was running on like 4 hours of sleep, so I just napped every now and then whenever I got the chance, haha. Family time is happy time!
Sunday: Bummed it for the first half of the day, then went to church at 5:15 with Itzel at St. Catherine's. Ran into Tiffany, so we stayed and chit-chatted a bit :D I love those two; they never fail to put a smile on my face. Talked to Itzel about things, as usual, haha, then went home. Rachael texts me to watch Ninja Assassins at 8:15, so I go, and yay, for free. Thanks Jatearra! You're the best. It was like the most brutal and gory movie, I can't believe I sat through it all, and I actually liked the movie! Maybe it was also just because I was with Rachael, because I always love spending time with her, haha.
Monday: Again, bummed it for the afternooon, then went to pick up Polly from school and went to Target. Got home and chilled for a bit. I randomly got a phonecall from Conor; accident pocket call, but I talked to him for like 5 minutes, via text, it was kind of nice... then went to Matt's, haa. I met his brother and his girlfriend. We watched My Best Friend's Girl and then I read The Giving Tree, cute book :) Went home around like 12:30ish because we were both kind of tired, which is like earliest I've ever gone home from his place, haa. We're supposed to watch Titanic still, but who knows when. I told him to text me whenever he's free and not with his girlfriend, haa.
I find it ironic that you'll ask me if Alana and I randomly starting talking again and all that stuff, because in case you didn't notice, that's what you did also. It's been a couple of months since we last talked, right before you got with her, and then after I leave you one simple comment, you ask me to hang out that night. And from that point on, you continue to talk to me. I know I'm probably looking too much into it as I always do, but I just find it weird. You text me Friday asking what I'm up to for the night, and say you are bored out of your mind. I ask why you're not with your girlfriend, and you say 'because I don't feel like it." Funny, you have nothing to do, so you text me asking what I'm doing, but I'm busy. Most guys want to spend time with their girlfriends whenever possible, especially when there's nothing for them to do, but you 'don't feel like it,' but you'll ask me? That makes no sense, at least to me that is. I'm also puzzled as to why my picture is still in your album? The picture you took of her at her practice and the flower for her has been taken down, but you keep mine? Again, that's an odd thing to do- to take down the picture for and of your girlfriend, but keep a picture of another girl (me) up. I know nothing's going to happen, but I just can't make sense of it, because it doesn't. You text while we hang out, and I know it's probably her, just like when it was Katelin. It really bothers me when you do because I feel like you'd rather be elsewhere, talking to whoever it is. I'm just going to go with the flow of things; not expect anything or get my hopes up or fall again. You even said so yourself, you've 'never had a problem of getting over a girl.' Yea, obviously, I already know that. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy we're friends and I'm fine with it, honestly, it's just puzzling and odd, that's all...really. Oh well!
Saturday: I went to a family wedding. I was running on like 4 hours of sleep, so I just napped every now and then whenever I got the chance, haha. Family time is happy time!
Sunday: Bummed it for the first half of the day, then went to church at 5:15 with Itzel at St. Catherine's. Ran into Tiffany, so we stayed and chit-chatted a bit :D I love those two; they never fail to put a smile on my face. Talked to Itzel about things, as usual, haha, then went home. Rachael texts me to watch Ninja Assassins at 8:15, so I go, and yay, for free. Thanks Jatearra! You're the best. It was like the most brutal and gory movie, I can't believe I sat through it all, and I actually liked the movie! Maybe it was also just because I was with Rachael, because I always love spending time with her, haha.
Monday: Again, bummed it for the afternooon, then went to pick up Polly from school and went to Target. Got home and chilled for a bit. I randomly got a phonecall from Conor; accident pocket call, but I talked to him for like 5 minutes, via text, it was kind of nice... then went to Matt's, haa. I met his brother and his girlfriend. We watched My Best Friend's Girl and then I read The Giving Tree, cute book :) Went home around like 12:30ish because we were both kind of tired, which is like earliest I've ever gone home from his place, haa. We're supposed to watch Titanic still, but who knows when. I told him to text me whenever he's free and not with his girlfriend, haa.
I find it ironic that you'll ask me if Alana and I randomly starting talking again and all that stuff, because in case you didn't notice, that's what you did also. It's been a couple of months since we last talked, right before you got with her, and then after I leave you one simple comment, you ask me to hang out that night. And from that point on, you continue to talk to me. I know I'm probably looking too much into it as I always do, but I just find it weird. You text me Friday asking what I'm up to for the night, and say you are bored out of your mind. I ask why you're not with your girlfriend, and you say 'because I don't feel like it." Funny, you have nothing to do, so you text me asking what I'm doing, but I'm busy. Most guys want to spend time with their girlfriends whenever possible, especially when there's nothing for them to do, but you 'don't feel like it,' but you'll ask me? That makes no sense, at least to me that is. I'm also puzzled as to why my picture is still in your album? The picture you took of her at her practice and the flower for her has been taken down, but you keep mine? Again, that's an odd thing to do- to take down the picture for and of your girlfriend, but keep a picture of another girl (me) up. I know nothing's going to happen, but I just can't make sense of it, because it doesn't. You text while we hang out, and I know it's probably her, just like when it was Katelin. It really bothers me when you do because I feel like you'd rather be elsewhere, talking to whoever it is. I'm just going to go with the flow of things; not expect anything or get my hopes up or fall again. You even said so yourself, you've 'never had a problem of getting over a girl.' Yea, obviously, I already know that. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy we're friends and I'm fine with it, honestly, it's just puzzling and odd, that's all...really. Oh well!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
And the year finishes up with...
I'm so glad I'm on winter break. It's been needed. The like 11 weeks of fall quarter flew by, but going through it felt so slow. College is definitely different from highschool, but I like it. I'm ready to grow up, to challenge myself. I'm changing everything next quarter. I struggled this quarter, and I'm not making the same mistakes as last quarter. College has a way of making you feel so low sometimes. I've never felt this way in my life, and I'm determined to changed that. I'm not letting ANYTHING get in the way of my education and future.
Winter break has started off wonderfully so far. I left my room at like 9 and drove home. I ate with my sister and cousins and then I went to Matt's house, haa. It was random...but we did like our usual. We played Guitar Hero and then saw What Happens in Vegas and listened to music. We didn't realize it was like 2:30 before I left. Thursday, I didn't wake up until like 11:30, haha. I just sat on the couch and bummed it for the afternoon. My sister comes home and the doorbell rings, so I open it. And BAM, it's Kristine. It made me so happy. I love random surprises, especially from people I love and miss. I've missed her terribly<3 She stayed for a bit and we hung out as we used to. She left around like 6:30ish to do homework and such. Friday, received texts from Itzel and Jennifer! Picked up Mariah at North and said hi to Richard and Ms. Biernetzky. Mariah came over and we hung out, and Itzel came to say hi and we ended up talking for like an hour, haha. I love Itzel<3 Rachael picked us up to go to this kickback, haha. I love hanging out with Rachael, Madisyn, and Mariah.
You walked out as easily as you walked in. You came back in as easily as you left. What did I just get myself into? And what am I to think? Oh right, we're just friends.
Winter break has started off wonderfully so far. I left my room at like 9 and drove home. I ate with my sister and cousins and then I went to Matt's house, haa. It was random...but we did like our usual. We played Guitar Hero and then saw What Happens in Vegas and listened to music. We didn't realize it was like 2:30 before I left. Thursday, I didn't wake up until like 11:30, haha. I just sat on the couch and bummed it for the afternoon. My sister comes home and the doorbell rings, so I open it. And BAM, it's Kristine. It made me so happy. I love random surprises, especially from people I love and miss. I've missed her terribly<3 She stayed for a bit and we hung out as we used to. She left around like 6:30ish to do homework and such. Friday, received texts from Itzel and Jennifer! Picked up Mariah at North and said hi to Richard and Ms. Biernetzky. Mariah came over and we hung out, and Itzel came to say hi and we ended up talking for like an hour, haha. I love Itzel<3 Rachael picked us up to go to this kickback, haha. I love hanging out with Rachael, Madisyn, and Mariah.
You walked out as easily as you walked in. You came back in as easily as you left. What did I just get myself into? And what am I to think? Oh right, we're just friends.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A Whirlwind
It's been a month, and I don't know why I still think about it. I wonder what goes on through your head. I can't seem to figure it out, and I wish I could read your head. You'll talk to me indirectly for like 3 weeks, and then out of the blue you'll chat with me telling me that you're 90 percent sure you'll be transferring Long Beach, and that you want to apply to UCI also. And then you'll tell me that you miss our movie nights? What do you want me to say? How am I supposed to react to that? What makes our movie nights so different, because I know you're still having them, but with her. Whatever, you left as easily as you came in. I have better things to focus on and worry about. You're wasting up my time.
I'm like mentally exhausted. I went 4 straight weeks of midterms- one each week-then a week off, which flew by so quickly it didn't even feel like one, and now back to another two- one this morning, another next Monday, and a quiz Tuesday. I can't wait for Thanksgiving break so I can just rest. Unfortunately, I'll be back to studying because of finals. I feel so much better and productive since giving up facebook, I love it. Work first, play later.
I'm like mentally exhausted. I went 4 straight weeks of midterms- one each week-then a week off, which flew by so quickly it didn't even feel like one, and now back to another two- one this morning, another next Monday, and a quiz Tuesday. I can't wait for Thanksgiving break so I can just rest. Unfortunately, I'll be back to studying because of finals. I feel so much better and productive since giving up facebook, I love it. Work first, play later.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Karma
What comes around, goes around. Are you even aware of what you did? Probably not, or you just don't care. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I still want to believe you're still a good and sweet person, but ha, it's kind of hard.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
My Life in a Nutcase
I think I'm finally adjusted to college. But then again, is it because my classes are easier than others? I don't know, but as for now, I think I'm good. I can handle it. I'm taking one day at a time. I just need to remember to breathe, to not lose myself in this whirlwind and craze. Thank goodness for the beautiful weather. It's my kind of weather, and I've missed it terribly. For me, it's just absolutely perfect. I've taken advantage of by going to the park. On Wednesday, my first trip to the park, this grad student that looks like Justin Bobby from The Hills or Jay from The City came up and asked to sit down. So he did and started rolling up some tobacco to smoke. He asks me questions and then proceeds to tell he thinks I'm cute and wants to take me out, AFTER he asked what year I am. It's weird, nice I guess, but weird...HAHA
I can't seem to put my finger on it. I don't know why it bothers me so much or why I'm affected by it. It wasn't that long, but I guess because it's quality, not quantity. It felt different, and I trusted you, but you seem to have taken advantage and abused that trust? I don't know how to describe it. I wonder if you realized what you were doing, what your intentions were. You seemed different, special, so I took a chance, a risk. I didn't want to fall, but it happened. It's been a whiplash since. You'd be the sweetest person ever, then ignore me. I shouldn't have let it happen, but knowing me, I just went along with it. I just don't understand why, and how it seemed to just have changed within that one weekend. I have an idea, and so I wonder if we had hung out if it would've been different. I wanted you to decide and I guess you did, I just wish I had an explanation or something. I think what really bothers me is that I felt like I lost a friend, because you were becoming one of my closest friends, almost like my best friend to a certain I extent I guess. You were the first person that came to mind whenever I something happened, like the first person I would tell and turn to. I feel like such an idiot, a fool, but I deserve better than this, not these little mixed signals and mind games, manipulation or being led on.
I can't seem to put my finger on it. I don't know why it bothers me so much or why I'm affected by it. It wasn't that long, but I guess because it's quality, not quantity. It felt different, and I trusted you, but you seem to have taken advantage and abused that trust? I don't know how to describe it. I wonder if you realized what you were doing, what your intentions were. You seemed different, special, so I took a chance, a risk. I didn't want to fall, but it happened. It's been a whiplash since. You'd be the sweetest person ever, then ignore me. I shouldn't have let it happen, but knowing me, I just went along with it. I just don't understand why, and how it seemed to just have changed within that one weekend. I have an idea, and so I wonder if we had hung out if it would've been different. I wanted you to decide and I guess you did, I just wish I had an explanation or something. I think what really bothers me is that I felt like I lost a friend, because you were becoming one of my closest friends, almost like my best friend to a certain I extent I guess. You were the first person that came to mind whenever I something happened, like the first person I would tell and turn to. I feel like such an idiot, a fool, but I deserve better than this, not these little mixed signals and mind games, manipulation or being led on.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Bad Timing
It always seems to make it's way to me. No matter the story, it's always been the same ending. I saw it coming, but that doesn't change how I feel. I guess I was simply hoping and wishing it'll work out, as I always do. I question myself with the same thoughts over and over, wondering. I don't want to care. I'm not going to care. I can't care, I won't care. I won't look much into it, over-analyze, and just go with the flow.
College is different from high school. I like this change. I'm still nervous for tests and the workload, but I just need time to adjust. I got this. I'm keeping my eye on the prize, just as I always had in high school. I'm on a mission.
College is different from high school. I like this change. I'm still nervous for tests and the workload, but I just need time to adjust. I got this. I'm keeping my eye on the prize, just as I always had in high school. I'm on a mission.
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